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What can the server do?
07-19-2013, 08:43 AM
Post: #1
What can the server do?
I don't know if this is the right place for this but I have a very worrying problem, it truly makes me ill.

My mother says she found out my abusive father is working with the guy who maintains the servers we use to read her emails and basically monitor her, even to the point of probably getting her passwords.

Is this really possible? So far I think he's only monitoring her (I might be dead already if he was also monitoring me), but what can be done to get more privacy?

I'm already trying to move out but it might be some time before I can do that.
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07-19-2013, 08:29 PM
Post: #2
RE: What can the server do?
If this guy is really a admin of your mailserver he probally could.
Is it likely that this guy would jeopardize his job just to help your father ?
I dont think so. It is more likely that they try get you Mother stressed
by telling this story.
Or that Father has installed some program on Mother's computer before relationship was over.
A program that enables him to watch/check what Mother is doing at computer.

What to do :
Try to get some evidence that this is happening, by sending fake-emails.
For example let your Mother mail a friend (who knows that you are doing this) that she won
40.000 in the lottery. (dont make it millions to keep it believable)
Dont tell anyone else. If Father thinks Mother won lottery you know story is real.
Then you can contact provider of your mail to ask them to do something about this.
Or even to the Police that your mail is being monitored.

Check PC for secret monitoring program.
Get somebody who knows much about computers to check your PC.
If you dont have such a friend, make a backup of all your documents/mail etc
and reinstall the computer.


Getting more privacy.
Get a new email-adress for your Mother.
For example at https://www.gmx.com/. The https makes sure that your email-traffic to
the server is encrypted and so unreadable for someone else.
Father dont know new mail-adress, so no nasty mails from him anymore.
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07-19-2013, 09:42 PM
Post: #3
RE: What can the server do?
(07-19-2013 08:29 PM)Golempie Wrote:  If this guy is really a admin of your mailserver he probally could.
Is it likely that this guy would jeopardize his job just to help your father ?
I dont think so. It is more likely that they try get you Mother stressed
by telling this story.
Or that Father has installed some program on Mother's computer before relationship was over.
A program that enables him to watch/check what Mother is doing at computer.

What to do :
Try to get some evidence that this is happening, by sending fake-emails.
For example let your Mother mail a friend (who knows that you are doing this) that she won
40.000 in the lottery. (dont make it millions to keep it believable)
Dont tell anyone else. If Father thinks Mother won lottery you know story is real.
Then you can contact provider of your mail to ask them to do something about this.
Or even to the Police that your mail is being monitored.

Check PC for secret monitoring program.
Get somebody who knows much about computers to check your PC.
If you dont have such a friend, make a backup of all your documents/mail etc
and reinstall the computer.


Getting more privacy.
Get a new email-adress for your Mother.
For example at https://www.gmx.com/. The https makes sure that your email-traffic to
the server is encrypted and so unreadable for someone else.
Father dont know new mail-adress, so no nasty mails from him anymore.

It's not so much the admin of a mail service as the guy who maintains the server our home uses. That server is located in the office linked to the home, my father owns that office and employs the other guy.

When I mentioned giving out misinformation the first time I talked with mom about this, she says she has already done that and that is why she knows they're snooping.

I'm not so worried about having malware installed as I am of them being able to check everything at that server.

Also, I already use https myself but does it help if they can look at the server?

By the way, I already told mom to tell the police but she seems to think the police in here wouldn't do anything, unfortunately, she might be right.
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07-19-2013, 11:58 PM
Post: #4
RE: What can the server do?
OK, its more clear now.
Only option is to backup your email-data from that server.
Then erase what you can from that server and only use another email-server.
Stop using that office-server or at least the email at that server.

And change all your passwords.

Best is to get a personal internet-connection.
But if you cant get around that server best option is to use a VPN-service.
So everthing that you do on the internet is encrypted.
It will cost money, but ii think its only option if you still have to go through
that server.
A vpn-service like for example mullvad : https://www.mullvad.net/en/

Without proof police cant do much i think.
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07-20-2013, 03:23 AM
Post: #5
RE: What can the server do?
What do you mean by email data? Do you think they can check things like hotmail and stuff like that?

What priorities should I have for deleting stuff in the server?
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07-20-2013, 05:13 AM
Post: #6
RE: What can the server do?
Hotmail ? Is your mother's email an Hotmail account ?
If so, you only need to change the password and the security-question.
He could know the password or the answer to the security-question.
Hotmail-account is already secure enough, even when internet-connection
goes through the office-server. (hotmail uses https)
No, he shouldnt be able to read hotmail, only things that are on that office server.

I thought your mother's mail-account was on the office-server.
By emaildata i ment the messages in your Mother's email-account on that
office-server. But with Hotmail those messages arent on that office-server.

What can he see : He can see that you have connection with hotmail-server.
But he cant read what is going on.
So if Father knows about mails, he knows password of mother's email-account.
Again : change password of hotmailaccount.

If you go on internet-website that doesnt use https he could see what is going on.
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07-20-2013, 09:11 AM
Post: #7
RE: What can the server do?
Well, she has more than one email account, I think mostly she uses Microsoft Outlook though, which I think is probably easily monitored.

I use hotmail myself so if I am understanding this correctly that should be safe due to the https, right? But you also mentioned he might know the passwords to that...how would they know and how would we prevent him from getting them again if hotmail was not safe to use?
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07-20-2013, 03:08 PM
Post: #8
RE: What can the server do?
Using outlook doesnt give me clue if the mailserver is the server at the office.
But to play it safe, stop using the outlook mail.
And make a hotmail-account, or as i mentioned earlier a account at gmx.com.

But yes, using hotmail is safe against that guy who maintains the office-server.
The https makes it safe.
btw: we are talking about hotmail, but name hotmail is gone.
Microsoft made it new to give windows 8 feel and named it live.com.

How would he know the password ?
-Because he knows your mother and she told the password when relationship was good.
-Because he knows your mother and can make good guess at password.
Like name of children, dog, cat, favorite moviestar etc.
-Because he had access to mother's computer and installed monitor-program.
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11-27-2013, 01:23 PM
Post: #9
RE: What can the server do?
Thanks for sharing information,your information are very helpful for me and increase my knowledge.
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08-15-2016, 04:56 PM
Post: #10
RE: What can the server do?
I use gmail myself so if I am knowing this properly that should be secure due to the https, right? But you also described he might know the security passwords to that how would they know and how would we avoid him from getting them again if gmail was not secure to use?
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